Breakfast in Hell

So here I am, still sick. I have not been able to drag myself out of bed most of the day. I did decide, however, to take Abby out for breakfast. We went to Denny's. This was a bad choice. It took us over an hour to get the heck out of there. Shoot it took more than 10 minutes just to get a chocolate milk and a Diet Coke. I should have cut and run at that point.

Just so you all know I am potty training. More fun than it is worth. She will pee in the potty all day long but no poop, Not even a token turd for mommy. So she jumps up as we are waiting a ridiculous amount of time for our food to arrive.

A: "Mommy Potty"
M: "You have to go potty, lets go"
A: "I peed."
M: "Well lets go."
In my head (that is not a pee walk)
M: "Oh, Abby, you pooped."
A: "Oh, I pooped."
M: "You have to tell mommy before you go poop."
M: "Sit on the potty then go poop."
M: "Potty first then Poop."
A: "Yucky."
M: "Yes you are."

Bystander: "She is really cute."
(gee thanks)

By the time we made it to the table, after a proper surgical hand washing, our food was there.

My bacon had been cremated and the eggs apparently had been left to scramble themselves. They had a horrible texture and a burnt film that reminded me of breakfast at summer camp. My pancakes were not even hot enough to melt the room temperature whipped butter. So, five minutes later I was able to get the attention of the waitress. She was kind and took the food and returned with a new plate just 5 minutes later. No offer of soda refill not check to see how the food was. I was all on my own. She did finally ask me if I wanted any more soda. This was one hour after I sat down. I told her no and that I was finished. Just in case you are new to this planet, I am finished means you can take my plate and I would like my check so that I can escape this "FINE" establishment. Ten minutes later. "Did I give you your bill?" UM, NO!

So I get the check. I go to the counter and ask to speak to someone. We will call him stupid for identification purposes.

S: "I am a manager"
M: "I have been here for over an hour. My food took forever. The first plate was horrible and I had to have it remade. I told the waitress 10 minutes ago that I was finished and I just now got my bill."
S: "Well, it is Saturday."
M: "I watched several tables come and go in the hour I was here."
S: "Well some foods take longer. What did you have?"
I hand him the bill.
S: "Oh."
M: "Not steak and lobster. I had pancakes and eggs. It is just a basic meal. Not an hour meal."
S: "I think I have a coupon here."
M: (are you kidding me)
S: "I will take $3 off your bill."
M: (are you kidding me)
S: "Oh and you get $3 dollars off your next visit. Do you want to add a tip?"
M: (are you kidding me)
S: "Thank you, have a nice day."

That is time I will never get back. I feel like part of my brain is physically damaged from that encounter.

I am going to have to put that Denny's on my boycott list.